Disturbing Discoveries

I've had a few life changing discoveries during my time here on earth.  The first one came when my son was very small and I realized, listening to one of his kiddie toys, that the ABC song and Twinkle Twinkle little star were, in fact, the same song.  Unbelievable!  I felt somehow cheated out of a song and dare I say, my whole childhood.

Now tonight, my second, and perhaps just as important discovery.  Hot dogs and bologna are the same thing, one is just squished flat and one is in a tube!  Luckily for me, I can claim ignorance because it's been more years than I can count since I ate a slice of bologna (thank goodness).  But my son has been on a kick lately and tonight, when he made me try a bite...the lights came on. 

This makes me wonder how many other injustices and travesties of this nature are lurking out there and how long it will be until I discover the next one.  For now, maybe I'll go have a bologna sandwich with mustard and relish.  On second thought...I'm good.

Look Out!

I'm not sure what it is about a sparkling, crystal clear swimming pool.  I love them.  I can't resist them.  The smell of the chlorine and the clear glassy water draw me in...literally.  On Saturday, I spent the afternoon at the water park with my son and his friend. The weather was nice, but it was a little breezy, so when the boys ran and jumped in the wave pool, I delayed and perched on a lounge chair.  But the draw of the pool proved too much.

Just as I waded carefully in, the wave machine started up and the water came to life.  I was still cautiously getting used to the cool temperature, when I heard frantic yelling, "Look out! Look out! Look out!" I turned to see a kid boogie boarding on an air mattress straight toward my head.  The next thing I knew I was inhaling water on the bottom of the pool.  I bobbed to the surface, snorting and a little stunned, wondering what just happened.

This isn't the only time recently I've been knocked off my feet by the unexpected.  Occasionally life throws something my way and before I know it, I'm on the bottom of the pool wondering what just hit me...although it's not usually a boogie board. But God is good and before too long, I find myself bobbing to the surface.  I might be stunned, but I'm back on my feet; snorting, but I'm still breathing.

After the initial shock of being run over (by the way, the boy apologized profusely), the water actually felt pretty good.  Maybe it's the same with some of life's circumstances.  The first impact is difficult, but in retrospect, I'm able to say, "Come on in...the water's fine".

The One-Track Mind

When my little brother was young (now he's old and foot taller than me), my parents always used to complain that he had a one-track mind. At 4 or 5 years old, he would get on an issue and absolutely not let it go until I wasn't sure if mom and dad were going to kill him or themselves.  I'm not sure if his one-track mind was just that much more prominent than mine or if it's only been in my later life that I've developed my own one-track mind skills.  But, either way, I have definitely hit my stride.

Typically, my single-mindedness has surrounded technology.  The smallest inkling I need something, quickly turns into a full blown obsession. First I have to give it a lot of discussion and thought, weighing whether or not I really need the thing.  But needing something is so subjective, I usually make it past that stage and on to the justification of why I need it.

Then comes the shopping, price-comparing, and bargain hunting...followed by another strong dose of justification. Once I actually order the item, the obsession turns to tediously watching my email for order updates, shipping notifications, and tracking information.  Tracking the package is an art all its own, the details of which are beyond the scope of this article.  

All aspects of this process, from my first sentence of, "Hey, I wonder if I should get a ..." to my ceremonious opening of the package and meticulous reading of the owners manual, drives The Pastor nuts.  However, over the past few years, this model has served me well.  Usually, beginning at the discussion phase, The Pastor is already so sick of hearing about it, he comes forth with "Just go buy the dumb thing already, will ya!"  This helps speed things along, as it cuts down the justification phase a bit.

 But last week I sunk to a new low. My one-track mind focused not on a new computer gadget, not on a trendy decoration for our house, or a even a new espresso machine.  The subject of my all encompassing thoughts...cheese.  Costco was sampling Dubliner Irish Cheese and I made the mistake of trying a piece.  It was an awesome mouthful of cheesiness.  But, the thirteen bucks they wanted for a brick of it put me squarely over my budget.  I denied myself the cheese.  But all week long, I found myself craving it.  I couldn't stop thinking about that stupid cheese.  So much so, that I had to make an extra trip to Costo (which is 40 minutes away) just to go get it the next weekend.

By my latest calculations, I spent $32.47 to get that cheese, and I have gained eight pounds in three days eating it.  Maybe I should have spent just a little more time deciding if I really needed it. Maybe I should just start making my own cheese.  Ooh, maybe I should get a.... nah.